On Wednesday, I dropped Lucas off at his Mothers Morning Out Program. I was dreading leaving him there. First time leaving him in a strange place with strange people. When I got there, we walked around the room together and looked at the toys. He started playing. I was starting to get upset and the teacher, Rachel, realized it and told me to scram! She didn’t want Lucas to pick up on my emotions. So, I snuck out. I was miserable. I had knots in my throat. My good friend Beth walked me out and said she reacted the same way the first time she left her little boy at school.
The program lasts for 3.5 hours and it had only been 15 minutes and I was already worried about him. I couldn’t concentrate or do anything fun for myself because I was so concerned with how he was.
Was he crying? Was he looking for me and wondering why I abandoned him? Lucas is a very shy child. Was he playing with the other children? Rachel (the teacher) was kind enough to call me an hour later to inform me that Lucas was fine and that he hadn’t cried one bit.
The relief I felt. As a first time mom, I knew it would be hard to “let go” and little bit and let my little boy explore his own independance, but I had no idea it would be that hard. When I picked up from school, promply on time and not early I might add, he looked up and me and gave me “the lip” and ran into my arms.
Like, “hey, you left me here for a long time, where have you been?
” Next week, I hope it will be easier for me to drop him off and maybe when I return to pick him up, I will get his cute little smile and “MOMMY” when he runs into my arms. These are all baby steps that we take. We expect our children to grow more each day and learn, but what we don’t expect is that moms have to grow each day as well.