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Old!

I feel so old! It seems like daily that is all I am thinking. I wish I could freeze time. I don’t want to age. That is the bottom line. I wish I could turn back time and redo some of the dumb things I did or not take for granted the times that I spent growing up. There is a lot I would have done differently. I am sure many people feel that way as they get older. When you are younger and in college, you just don’t think about things like growing older, having kids, etc…. I went out last night for the first time in many, MANY months. Had a good time, but couldn’t help but see some of the older kids out at the Mellow Mushroom. It was a large group of boys. They probably were about 12 or 13. And I got sad. Because one day, my sweet little 3 year old is going to be 12 or 13.. He isn’t going to think hanging with his mom is cool. And soon after that, he is going to go off to college, and then get married, and so on….. I started to feel guilty because I think about all the times I put him off so I can get on the computer or watch tv or just whatever.. Well, no more. I am going to dedicated a specific time each day where the phone and computer goes off and it is just me and him spending time together, UNINTERRUPTED! This time is so priceless. I am very fortunate to be able to stay home and raise my son, for which I am very grateful. My husband is a wonderful provider! I have been blessed in so many ways. Instead of constantly thinking about growing older and my son growing up, I need to be thinking about the NOW and taking advantage of the time we have NOW, because as we all know, we can’t go back, no matter how much we wish we could at times.

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